After the Fire

Maybe the fire was God's way of making me downsize or at least get around to doing things that I have but off for ages. As I go through my things(not daily as hoped, but as I feel that I can deal with it for a while...) I realize that I have been putting off doing this or that for so long that maybe this fire is a good way of making me get some things accomplished, as well as get rid of some things. See I am a pack rat... this I know and admit, however I do believe it is hereditary slightly. I think it may come from generations of not being able to have or denied for reasons of race or gender or something not yet identified. Nonetheless I am looking at this experience as a sort of house cleaning... parting with some things that I should have parted with some time ago.. be it junk or gifts that I will never give that were in my "gift stash"... we shall see. Please continue to pray for me good things, many positive blessings, and all things good God has in store for me!

... from the driveway. I play poker with a group of young ladies and one of the host/meeting places is a neighbor of mine directly adjecent to where my apartment burned down. When I stopped by to meet up with them yesterday I could see my Anne Geddes teddy bear in its basket, and I wondered why it was left. Did it smell too bad.. is the other side I cannot see destroyed. I saw the chair that used to be in my office burned and laying in the little yard area in front of the apartment. The units are all boarded up downstairs to prevent looters I suppose... but this was just a thought I wanted to write about today.

First of all... Yesterday afternoon was rather fun. My boyfriend started working in promotions for the Greenville Drive, the new minor league baseball team. And I had a great time... Watching him practice and the players... the stadium is rather quaint and cute.... all I need now is a jersey! :) however he did give me a G'ville Drive T-shirt that I am wearing today! : )

Next... to the fire recollection of the day.. I am an AVID collector of ANNE GEDDES photography and items associated with her work... well upon trying to place things lost in the fire on my Amazon wish list... I realized... most of my collectibles were just that collectibles and no longer available... :(... but I am just going to have to keep collecting and keep on keeping on :)

each day is a small step... yesterday was my mama's birthday... and it was all and all a great day...the only recollection of the fire was... b/c I had to go to hallmark and spend MORE money purchasing a new birthday card... and of course my daily picking up of a few things to box... when buying a new card keeper (which was much uglier than the one I had before) and getting my mama a new card I began to realize how much i try to get done ahead of time so it doesn't stress me out as much....

Thought of the day ...and many days now... how could someone be so careless with their cigarette?... all the pavement in front of our townhomes... and they throw their butt into the mulch...

Though as predicted I have been told .. I need to just get over it all and move on... tragedy after tragedy ... learn from it and move on... don't dwell... but in each tragedy a part of me dies

I begin to wonder why this had to happen to me after living in my home for almost 6 years....this is starting to take a strain on me mentally. From outside pressure of me not making decisions within others timeframes to nightmares to just plain stress. I always wanted to believe I was a strong person but as things continue to progress I am beginning to second think these things...This fire has put a strain on my relationships, me mentally and a tad physically... and all because someone OUTSIDE threw a cigarette into the bushes...Please oh please keep me in your prayers.

Yesterday my boyfriend and I used the day to pick up somethings that people were donating to me and we were going to the place the Red Cross had given us vochuers. We first went in the store, picked out the bedding and turned in the bedding voucher. We then put the bedding in the car, returned to the store to do the clothing and groceries vouchers. Now this was an EXPERIENCE... we first picked up the "groceries"... which were all things that I/we needed to either wash clothing and such that had been smoke or water damaged b/c my mama is still washing clothes consistently everyday and pick up tolietries which I had JUST purchased before my trip. Then since the Red Cross got the receipt this meant we had to try on things to make sure they fit before we leave... yes I am a girl, but trying on clothes for more than maybe a half hour begins to well... is not so enjoyable for me shall I say... but Kris made it fun. Then we go to check out at the customer service desk, we take the time to turn all the barcodes to assist the person scanning us out... then we go to scan the groceries.. and the guy said.. oh... you HAVE to get food .. we cannot let you get paper goods... okay we had been in this store for 3.5 hrs if not more, we had coupons for the groceries we purchased and were careful to pay close attention to that so we woudln't be wasteful.. AND we were not allowed to just use the clothing half.. we had to use clothing AND grocery voucher at the same time... so this meant... go search for food.. more to come